Image Onslaught

Recently I was with a friend who commented, “I haven’t been to the gym lately, and I feel like my backside is going to need its own zipcode!” to me and her two daughters. I know my friend meant nothing by it, but it made me think about how often I hear women unconsciously say negative things about their looks. How often I have said these kinds of things.

Dove released a new video yesterday called Onslaught. According to statistics, the average American girl will see over 77,000 commercials by the the time she is 12. The women in these images represent a very narrow ideal. These images are often creations more than anything else. A team of makeup artists, hair stylists, lighting experts and digital retouchers may all work to manipulate one photo. So much of what we are aspiring to is not even real.

This image onslaught affects the hearts, minds and self esteem of young girls and grown women alike. Remember how in vampire stories, you have to kill the head vampire in order to really get rid of all of them? Grown women are the head vampires in this case. We cannot hope to help our daughters transcend these messages until we rise above them ourselves. The revolution has to come from within.

It’s easy to point fingers at the media or advertisers, but the industry exists because we support it. We pass the message on to our daughters, often unconsciously, when we buy into the insecurities and reflect back very narrow views of beauty to young women. When we support companies that lie, manipulate and denigrate us, That can be a difficult thing for us to admit to ourselves. It’s not about blaming. It’s about healing - all of us. The good news is that research shows that mothers have the most power to influence how young girls feel about their bodies and self image.

Here are some ways to detach yourself from the beauty trap.

Talk about it. Talk with young women you know about these issues. Dove has a great set of articles and ideas for moms and mentors to talk with young women about beauty and self esteem issues. About Face is an organization that educates about ways to fight harmful media messages that affect self-esteem and body image.

Stop buying beauty magazines. Beauty magazines exist for one reason only. To explain what is wrong with you and then to get you to buy products to fix your flaws. Ditto for beauty blogs. Pick up a meaningful novel once in a while instead.

Find a passion that has nothing to do with looks. Take half the money you spend on beauty products, services and magazines and spend it on something that makes you feel alive. Ride horses, travel to places you’ve always wanted to see, take up photography, build an amazing library collection.

Change negative mind chatter. When you catch yourself being unkind or thinking negative thoughts about yourself, consciously change the message. Even if it feels unnatural. Imagine you are talking to your daughter. What would you say to her if she said, “Mom, I’m ugly, Mom, I’m fat”?